Swingers Contact Etiquette

The 2 Main Rules of Etiquette are

#1 - No Always Means NO, Stop Always Means STOP

If you continue to touch a person, or attempt to join in the action after you have been told No or told to Stop, you are guilty of Sexual Assault.

No never means maybe, No never means try again in a minute. It is an unambiguous instruction that you are not invited to be involved with that person/group.

#2 - Consent is always Required to Join The Action

Before you join the action you should always get the consent of the other person/people. This can take the form of a verbal yes, a wave inviting you to join, or an afirmative not.

Touching another person if consent has not been given is an assault.

A few guidelines for creating and responding to swingers ads.

Don't forget to read the guidelines set out on the site you join for their tips as well.


Please respond to all e-mails you receive from respondents.

Most of them will have spent time plucking up courage to write to you, and time thinking of the right thing to say to get you to notice them.

It does not need to be a long letter, a short note saying something along the lines of "Thank you for your response, but you do not match what I am currently looking for, better luck next time" will at least let the respondent know they have failed. I know that I for one check my mail eagerly after I send every response, hoping that someone has written back to me.


Always be polite.

Tell the advertiser what you like about their ad.

Tell them how you think you will meet their requirements.

If you enclose a picture show your face - most people like to see the person, rather than a shot of genitalia. If they like the look of you, they will then ask for another picture, a nude one if they want it. (some people do want nude pictures from the start, but they will usually say so in their ad).

Keep the language clean, match your response to the ad. Don't go straight in with a hardcore letter.

If you are turned down by an advertiser, don't keep contacting them - you are not going to make any friends by being a nuisance or abusive. Just move on to the next advertiser.

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